Scientist Claims To Have Invented Time Machine… But Apparently Means “Crystal Ball.”

The Telegraph reports that an Iranian scientist claims to have developed a “time machine.”

From the article:

“My invention easily fits into the size of a personal computer case and can predict details of the next 5-8 years of the life of its users. It will not take you into the future, it will bring the future to you.”

3 Questions You Will Have For This Time Machine

1. “What if its users are all fruit-flies? Is now really the right time for scientists to claim some sort of technological revelation that just depresses fruit-flies by telling them that the next 24 hours are going to be awesome, while the next 5 to 8 years, not so much?”

2. “I don’t have a personal computer case and I like challenges. What kind of case can I difficultly jam this thing into?”

3. “Where are my keys? Will anyone ever find a way for me to stop losing my keys and then finding them five minutes later in my pockets?”



Categories: Humor, Technology

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

5 replies

  1. Let me guess – it’s called a Magic 8 ball?

    Like

  2. I heard about this thing. I wonder if he used it to find out how many people would be making fun of him.

    Like

  3. 5-8? Why the randomness? I want all 8! If I buy this thing and get 5, I’m gonna be frosted. Curse you, Iranian “scientist”.

    Like

Trackbacks

  1. Did Time Machine Inventor Use Time Machine To Predict China Would Steal His Time Machine? | NotTheWorstNews
  2. Iran Confirms It Does Not Have A Time Machine, In Case You Wonder Who Those People Visiting You In Silver Unibody Suits from 2050 Are! | NotTheWorstNews

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