Scientist Claims To Have Invented Time Machine… But Apparently Means “Crystal Ball.”

The Telegraph reports that an Iranian scientist claims to have developed a “time machine.”

From the article:

“My invention easily fits into the size of a personal computer case and can predict details of the next 5-8 years of the life of its users. It will not take you into the future, it will bring the future to you.”

3 Questions You Will Have For This Time Machine

1. “What if its users are all fruit-flies? Is now really the right time for scientists to claim some sort of technological revelation that just depresses fruit-flies by telling them that the next 24 hours are going to be awesome, while the next 5 to 8 years, not so much?”

2. “I don’t have a personal computer case and I like challenges. What kind of case can I difficultly jam this thing into?”

3. “Where are my keys? Will anyone ever find a way for me to stop losing my keys and then finding them five minutes later in my pockets?”

Categories: Humor, Technology

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

5 replies

  1. Let me guess – it’s called a Magic 8 ball?


  2. I heard about this thing. I wonder if he used it to find out how many people would be making fun of him.


  3. 5-8? Why the randomness? I want all 8! If I buy this thing and get 5, I’m gonna be frosted. Curse you, Iranian “scientist”.



  1. Did Time Machine Inventor Use Time Machine To Predict China Would Steal His Time Machine? | NotTheWorstNews
  2. Iran Confirms It Does Not Have A Time Machine, In Case You Wonder Who Those People Visiting You In Silver Unibody Suits from 2050 Are! | NotTheWorstNews

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