Today’s WordPress Daily Prompt Challenge asks:
“Do you have animals in your life? If yes, what do they mean to you? If no, why have you opted not to?”
In other news, Scott from Toronto found this latest scoop from Pet Product News International:
- 58.3% of cats in America are overweight or obese; and
- 52.5% of dogs in America are overweight or obese.
And according to Bloomberg, who presumably has the best source of information from NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg:
- 58% of adult New Yorkers are overweight or obese; and
- 40% of New Yorker children in public schools are overweight or obese.
1. Carrying a Chihuahua in your purse can now not only be considered fashionable: it can be considered exercise, since you’re probably carrying extra weight compared to vintage 2005 Paris Hilton purse-Chihuahuas. And it is even more fashionable because next to the likely overweight or obese purse-pooch, you will look thinner!
2. Your kids are clearly likely to be in better shape than the dog, even though they promised to walk the dog when you bought it as a puppy at the pet store, since they, like most kids, stopped taking care of the pet the first time the alarm went off at 6:00 a.m. and they had to mop up pet urine from your laundry room. Why is this a reason to have an animal in your life? Because it will serve as a constant reminder that children never follow through on their promises to do work in exchange for expensive commitments, so remember this next time they ask you to buy them junior NASCAR lessons. You’ll save much more money when you remember to say “no” on more expensive commitment requests like child-sized NASCAR vehicles, track-rental time, and the-ever-illusive child racecar driver car insurance!
3. It appears the fat cats on Wall Street are just as overweight as their fat cats, with both at 58%. Which proves the point that people often make that pet-owners start to look like their pets. So since you look so much like your cat, send it to work all day to sit at a keyboard and trade complex derivatives you don’t understand, while you sit at home, curled up in a ball, eating lasagna just like Garfield! With your cat wearing a firmly-pressed Gucci suit, nobody will notice it’s not you!