WFAA-TV of Dallas-Fort Worth reports that local apartment building landlords are demanding samples of dog DNA from canine-owning tenants, to help catch pooper-scooper offenders on building property.
A company called “PooPrints” determines which dog is responsible for unscooped poop and the landlord apparently then issues a fine to the dog’s owner.
According to the CEO of PooPrints, his poo-DNA-dog-identifying system is 99.9% accurate, which sounds about as pure as Ivory Soap, except for the poop component.
From the news story:
“It’s accurate. It’s 99.9 percent accurate,” he [the CEO of PooPrints] said. “And it’s just a swab to get the DNA. We don’t want to clone Fido. Trust me on this. We do not want to clone your pet. We just want you to be responsible.”
3 Questions We Have For PooPrints
1. Really? That’s the company name? If you have a receptionist, do they get paid extra for answering the phone with the corporate name “PooPrints?”
2. You seem pretty sensitive about this pet-cloning issue… and keep repeating that you don’t want to clone pets. Hey, we don’t want to clean up after our pets, but we do it anyway. Is this the same sort of deal? How do we know dog-poop DNA companies don’t have a conspiracy to clone dogs and then have the clones poop around apartment buildings to frame innocent-cloned, law-abiding dogs?
3. If a dog eats at Taco Bells or IKEA stores in parts of Europe that have recalled beef containing horse DNA, who gets the fine: the dog-owner, a cattle-rancher, or an 18th century horse-trader?
NotTheWorstNews 
I loved your number 2 comment – no pun intended!
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Thanks! But if you place any other puns on this message board, we’ll begin to suspect you did intend that appropriate pun!
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Most dog owners are responsible animal lovers. Something like this could certainly encourage the rest of them to clean up after themselves. http://wp.me/p1se8R-2VG
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As a counterpoint, these are people who aren’t afraid to mess with Texas, despite ten million bumper stickers warning not to mess with Texas, so we question whether a fine will change their behavior.
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It does seem suspicious to build an entire business around identifying dog poop DNA if there’s no ulterior motive. They probably are cloning dogs and populating another planet with them, where the dogs are in charge and the humans are the pets. This is getting scary.
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Or it’s about to look like a great potential pitch to Pixar!
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You know, Lisa, that just might be a better world. Unless they would be out for revenge…
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Okay, Louise, no puns in this comment, so your pun-street-cred is all good.
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