It will be interesting to see what songs Paul Ryan and Mitt Romney use for entrance or post-speech themes for tonight’s and tomorrow night’s GOP convention speeches.
It’s hard to find a good entrance theme when most cool bands seem likely to disagree with your platforms.
After Paul Ryan named Rage Against The Machine as one of his favorite groups on Facebook, the band’s guitarist Tom Morello, in a Rolling Stone Op-Ed piece called Paul Ryan:
“the embodiment of the Machine our music rages against.”
For Rage Against The Machine fans, we guess that’s kinda good thing, because if they had no machine to rage against, the band might have nothing to sing about.
According to the Daily Mail, the Silversun Pickups sent Mitt Romney a cease-and-desist letter asking him to stop using their song “Panic Switch.” Seriously, Mitt, aren’t you a little bit old to pretend to be up on the latest alt-rock music? You’re not the hip-hop Grandma from the movie the Wedding Singer.
It’s times like these that remind us of Nirvana’s lyrics to In Bloom:
“He’s the one
Who likes all the pretty songs
And he likes to sing along
And he likes to shoot his gun
But he knows not what it means, knows not what it means”
All these candidates have to do is consult with their advisors…and if they don’t understand the song lyrics… check out Wikipedia, and then make a decision whether a song matches the message that they are trying to convey.
Perhaps even ask the band what they think, to avoid being told by rock stars you’re not cool, which kind of guarantees you’re not cool, unless that rock star is Axl Rose who insults everyone from the Bob Guccionne Jr. to the entire city of St. Louis.
The good news for the GOP this week is there are musicians who support Mitt Romney! Musicians like Kid Rock! And according to the Washington Post, while claiming to be independent, Journey will be performing Thursday night. So our money’s on Mitt Romney gets a crowd pleasing “Don’t Stop Believin'” intro.
Which means, Paul Ryan, you get stuck with what’s leftover of whatever musicians will publicly endorse your party. Which is probably a country song, which would hard to be pull off given your proclamation that you enjoying raging against machines. The only machines to rage against in the country are combines when they break down.
So Kid-Rock may be a better choice.
3 Kid Rock Song’s To Wager On As Being Possible Paul Ryan Theme Songs
Let’s look at the lyrics:
“Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogy said up jump the boogy”
Okay, sounds innocent enough. Something even Mitt might want to cut a rug to…
“All the gangs getting money and the heads that bang bang
Wild mustangs the porno flicks
All my homies in the county in cell block six.”
Um, the head-banging part is very rage-against-the-machine-esque… but the rest seems potentially unaligned with the Republican base. Let’s see what else Kid has in his catalog…
Okay, this sounds like a potential winner! Every American loves cowboys and their straight talkin-shoot-from-the-hip ways.
“Then to Tijuana… I wanna roam
Find Motown and tell them fools to come back home
Start an escort service, for all the right reasons.”
And the right reason to start an escort service according to the Republican platform is to immediately stop it. So let’s see what else Kid Rock has to offer…
3. Only God Knows Why
Done! Sold! The title has God in it! Just like some of the campaign people who approve these songs for their various candidates, we don’t even need to read the lyrics, we’ll bet on this one, and “All Summer Long” which features a bit of “Sweet Home Alabama”.
Got other songs you think any candidate should use, jokingly or seriously? Please post your suggestions in the comments section below.