The Orlando Sentinel reports that in Tuesday’s elections, despite receiving over 57% of the vote, a referendum requiring 60% of the vote to legalize medicinal marijuana in Florida did not pass.

Sheldon Adelson, an owner of Las Vegas Sands, the company that owns the Venetian in Las Vegas reportedly contributed $5.5 million to the “against” campaign.

3 Reasons We Speculate Sheldon Adelson Would Be Against Medicinal Marijuana in Florida

1. Hey, if you’re not going to pay $750 for bottle service at the Tao bar at the Venetian, you’re not getting into the club, and you would totally have to be high to pay that. Oh wait, that’s not an explanation.

2. High senior citizens may sit at home on couch instead of boarding a plane to Vegas.

3. Tired of high people riding Venetian gondolas thinking they’re in Italy instead of a mall. Drunk people, on the other hand, never think that.

Categories: Mildly Bad News

Tags: drugs, Florida, Humor, Las Vegas, marijuana, Parody, Politics, satire, Venetian