The National Post reports that Toronto Mayor Rob Ford is selling bobble heads and other merchandise including key chains and coffee mugs to raise money for his re-election campaign.
Included in the collection of “Robbie Bobbies” are “Football Tie Rob” and “Jimmy Kimmel Rob,” the latter of which the bobble head is presumably wearing the black shirt and red tie he wore on Jimmy Kimmel Live.
But why stop at bobble heads and key chains. Here are 3 items we’d (sarcastically) like to see:
1. The Drunken Stupor Breathylizer. This device would not test if you were too impaired to drive, but whether you were not too impaired to do anything in the world and then blame it on a drunken stupor later. Blood alcohol = 0.32% = blame it on a drunken stupor!
2. “World’s Greatest Mayor Who Smoked Crack And Was Not The Mayor Of D.C.” Bong. Since Ford is already selling coffee mugs, we thought this may be too wordy for a small cup, but might fit on a lengthier object.
3. Forget The Keychain, Here’s A Key To The City, For Anyone Who Buys Me A Drink At The Air Canada Centre. This would represent good political fundraising value, as anybody knows keys to the City sound impressive, but don’t actually open anything.
Categories: Mildly Bad News