Gawker reports that a man who was declared by an Ohio court to be “dead” after disappearing, is in fact alive! Great news! Except for the man who went to Court, which refused to declare him “not-dead” because Ohio has a crazy law that once someone has been declared dead for three years, there’s no going back.
According to the article, the judge said this:
“I don’t know where that leaves you, but you’re still deceased as far as the law is concerned…”
3 Questions That Arise From This Story
1. You don’t know where that leaves him, you’re Honor? We think that leaves him standing, puzzled, in front of a judge who is unable to use common sense. We mean, come on, who in the world (other than maybe an identity thief) is going to appeal a decision finding that a living person is in fact alive?
2. So if people disappear in Ohio for three years, they can be declared not to be people, and therefore not have any of the rights or responsibilities of people? That sounds like a perfect plot for a bad teen comedy movie where college freshmen all get declared dead, and then have the biggest, most illegal frat house party in their senior year, where they can never get arrested, because they are not “people.”
3. How did this law get passed in the first place in Ohio? We mean, wouldn’t the logical law be: if a person we said is dead turns out to be alive, then we reverse our death declaration? Come on, Ohio legislature, with laws like this on the books, you’re starting to make Congress look almost competent!