USA Today reports that the hotel that inspired the Shining is planning on digging up and relocating a pet cemetery on the premises to make way for a wedding and corporate retreat pavilion.
Fortunately, if you are thinking about staying at the Stanley Hotel in Colorado, it’s web site assures you that “there are only happy ghosts at the hotel!”
Three Questions That Arise From This Story
1. What kind of prescription anti-depressants are the ghosts at the hotel on? Being happy all the time is challenging enough for people, never mind for ghosts, who certainly can’t be flattered whenever some kid wears a pathetic bed sheet costume (perhaps stolen from a ghost-filled hotel?) and says “look at me, I’m a lame ghost!”
2. Digging up a pet cemetery on a spooky property? When did Congress come up with that terrible idea? Perhaps when certain representatives were seeking the ghost vote from former living people who voted that they didn’t want affordable healthcare, not even a very cheap accidental-fatal-injury-caused-by-happy-but-drunk-demons protection plan.
3. “Whimper, whine, howl?” (Translation from Dog speak: “I can’t believe you’re relocating grandpa Bowser to make room for a corporate pavilion! Why? Why? Why?”) Somebody get that dog whatever prescription anti-depressants the ghosts are on!