Wait, If A Scientist Is Controlling Your Hand Movements, Why Does This Periodic Table You’re Drawing On The Kitchen Table List Mrs. Butterworth As An Element?

As we wrote yesterday, a scientist may be able to control another scientist’s hand movements by sending brain waves over the internet.

3 More Questions That Arise From This Story

1. If people start sending brainwaves over the internet, what does this mean for people who still use dial-up? We suspect it means that your friends are really thinking “screeechy screech screech.” But you are friends with cheap screech owls, so it all kind of makes sense.

2. How can we prevent Miley Cyrus from sending brain waves over the internet? The last thing we need is her inadvertently choreographing this weekend’s Labor Day parades, because getting people fired on Labor Day for offending children totally won’t help the nation’s unemployment problems.

3. They can send brainwaves over the internet, yet we still can’t download 1970s Heavy Metal songs backwards from iTunes to confirm whether hidden devil messages are in the music? How will today’s 50 year olds finally be able to use technology to prove to their parents they were wrong?

Categories: Humor, science

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