Tube May Transport You From L.A. To San Fran In Less Time Than It Takes To Remember You Left The Fridge Open In L.A.

Earlier today, Elon Musk unveiled “alpha” details of how a “Hyperloop” transportation system, that uses solar power, could transport people via tubes from Los Angeles to San Francisco in about 35 minutes.

That’s a much shorter distance than an earlier report that said the tubes might take people from NYC to LA in 45 minutes.

3 New Questions That Arise From This Story

1. “Wait a minute, this thing can get people from LA to San Francisco faster than they can drive from LA to Anaheim?” Yes, we wondered that ourselves. Who are you trying to fool, “Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim?” We think a better team name would be “Los Angeles Angels of the Place That’s Not In Los Angeles County, But Is In Orange County, But We Doubt You’ll Find Oranges Growing In Our Stadium, Either.”

This place is about as physically close to Los Angeles as the fourth-place Angels are to the first-place Dodgers in the standings right now.

2. “Wait a minute, this thing can get people from LA to San Francisco faster than they can drive 101 feet on the 101 through LA on a Saturday evening?” This seems impossible! Is this why this transport system is still in the “alpha” stage and your kids are trying to jam their heads through paper towel tubes to help make it to the beta stage?

3. “Wait a minute, I don’t understand how this technology works – how can I trust it?” You can answer that question as soon as you explain how giant pieces of metal fly through the sky. Or for you smarty-pilot or engineering pants out there, you can read the full report, and learn that it kinda works like air hockey. Which we interpret as meaning your kid with the paper towel roll on their head will hit the puck at just the right angles to easily beat you (and whisk you to San Francisco) every time.

Categories: Humor, Technology, The Future

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

1 reply

  1. Just saw Fuck-It . Very effective. It was a jolt to my sytsem (oops, did I say sytsem’?). I’m 53, so it would be very easy to say that i’m too old and I’ll probably die before the next world war. After seeing the film, I’m not so sure. People who protest and get on CNN or whatever are so easily dismissed that I can see little value in it. I can see a possible strategy of working from the inside (corporation, gov’t, etc.) to do the most damage in terms of sabotage. But that will harm innocent people, won’t it? If someone or ones launch a cyber attack on say the electrical grid of the eastern seaboard (not that I condone such behavior), won’t people die who are say being kept alive by a machine run with electricity? What if it happens in the middle of complex surgery of some sort? Yeah, the hospital probably has a back-up electrical generator but what if it takes time to come online? Should we accept a certain number of casualties as the price for promoting a greater good which is to make people aware of what life would be like when the power plants no longer function in say 2057? Of course, I’ll have to think about this more and if that’s the only benefit of the film I say it has done it’s job well.


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