The Local reports that the Swedish National Tax Agency has declared a lumberjack who has been missing for 102 years to be dead. If alive, he would have been 139 years old, which would be older than the oldest person recorded in human history, who incidentally died at age 122.
Way to keep on top of things, Sweden!
3 More Things We Wonder If Sweden Will Declare To Be Dead
1. IKEA breakfast. Because now that McDonald’s may be moving into the all-day-breakfast market, people will no longer have to travel miles to pretend they want to buy furniture to get cheap eggs, that they ironically could have gotten for even less money if they splurged on a fridge from IKEA.
2. Jokes about IKEA on this web site! Although we’d wager furniture stores that sell food are more likely to recall the joke for being mislabelled as “elk meat” than actually declare the joke to be dead.
3. Disco. Sure, the rest of the world might have been saying “Disco’s Dead” around the 1980s, but we understand, Sweden, you had your major export ABBA to protect. It’s okay!