Budweiser-Maker Sued For Allegedly Watering Down Beer, So You May Allegedly Have No Excuse For Getting So Drunk At The Academy Awards Alleged Party!

CNN reports that Anheuser-Busch is being sued by two California residents for allegedly watering down some of its brands, including Budweiser, Michelob, and Bud Lite Platinum.

From the article:

“‘Because water is cheaper than alcohol, AB adds extra water to its finished products to produce malt beverages that consistently have lower alcohol content than the percentage displayed on its labels,’ the suit said.”

And from a Budweiser label:

“THIS IS THE FAMOUS BUDWEISER BEER. WE KNOW OF NO BRAND PRODUCED BY ANY OTHER BREWER WHICH COSTS SO MUCH TO BREW AND AGE.”

3 Questions We Have Related To The Above Claim.

1. Does “WE” refer to talking water-droplets, trapped in the bottle, that some beer-drinkers can only see speak after drinking 15 Buds?

2. Does the fact that someone doesn’t know of any other brand that costs so much mean that Anheuser-Busch Inbev, the world’s largest brewer, doesn’t know what the competition is paying to brew beer? Is this because they don’t have access to the competition’s annual reports on their web sites, or because they keep inputting the wrong birthday to visit those sites?

3. You mean Bud allegedly tastes like water because there’s allegedly extra water in it? And all this time, we thought that it was just all of the delicious water-absorbing rice, combined with drinking it out of a plastic, sports-stadium-cup, filled with tears from cheering for the Chicago Cubs that gave it a watery flavor!



Categories: Humor

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: