Republican Party “Rising Star” Doing The Opposite-Of-Rising To Find Bottle Of Water During A Speech

Marco Rubio, while delivering the Republican party’s response speech to this year’s President’s State Of The Union address, awkwardly leaned away from the camera to grab a bottle of Poland Spring water, presumably on a chair or maybe the floor.

Hmmm…. guess that’s what happens when you give speeches without a podium… or a thirst-quenching drink for an entire ten minutes!

3 Other Things Marco Rubio Could Have Reached For In The Middle Of A Rebuttal Speech

1. A transcript of what the President actually said. You think this may be a requirement of a rebuttal speech, which is perhaps why Rubio seemed nervous and regretted having his speech-writer apparently consult a psychic hotline to predict what the President was going to say.

2. A rising star. Perhaps one hanging from a mobile. To remind the audience that he is a rising star. Just like the Republican talking heads did on TV, after the speech, seemingly completely oblivious to his awkward delivery.

3. A cold Miller Lite. Hey, it was Mardi Gras, and we suspect the product placement opportunities from a massive brewery may be better than the Poland Water Company!

Categories: Humor, Mildly Bad News, Politics

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

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