Dum-dee-doo… Let’s see what CNBC is reporting as its lead story today… which we will then have to write a comedy article about, regardless of how dry or boring the topic may be.
And the current lead story is entitled: “Don’t Forget the HOW of the Fiscal Cliff,” an opinion piece suggesting that it’s not only the terms of a fiscal cliff deal that are important, but HOW the two sides negotiate the deal, because that will affect future negotiations.
3 Ways We Don’t Expect Congress To Negotiate A Deal Based On Past Behavior
1. Building a metaphorical Jenga fiscal cliff and whichever party does not allow the cliff to topple gets what they want, while the other side has to put the wood pieces back in the box.
2. Using the strategies in Donald Trump’s 1980s book “the Art of the Deal.” As far as we can tell this art has moved from talking up the magnificence of buildings to demanding that the President of the United States show copies of his college transcripts and passport. The latter of which, did not result in a deal for charity, presumably because Trump’s office is not a “country”, and no passport is required to enter there.
3. Hiring Samuel L. Jackson to conduct negotiations in character from his role in the movie the Negotiator and any other movies that involve him yelling, especially on airplanes. This would obviously rid congress of any “snakes,” allowing for smooth negotiations in the future, as recommended in the CNBC article.