Good News! Airlines Are Less Likely To Lose Your Luggage! In Part Because Less Of You Are Bringing Luggage On To Planes To Save Baggage Fees!

The New York Times reports “good news” that airlines lost less luggage in 2011 than five years earlier.

The New York Times cites various reasons, including fewer people are bringing luggage onto planes due to airlines charging fees to stow luggage on planes.

In other words: good news! The airlines are less likely to lose your luggage because there’s less of it!

3 More Things Airlines Would Be Less Likely To Lose If They Had Less Of It!

1. Dollars! Because the airline industry is historically unprofitable. We presume that’s because the profits are placed in suitcases, similar to Deal or No Deal, and the airlines, despite losing fewer suitcases, keep losing the suitcase with $1,000,000 inside!

This view from an airplane won’t make you happier if you just paid a fee to have your bags become one of the 9 in a thousand that are still lost!

2. More dollars because they over-booked your flight, and now they’re paying you to spend the night in Detroit! Last we checked, airlines are not some crazy, long-lost wealthy uncle from the Flintstones. So they should not have to pay you to spend a night in a haunted mansion in Detroit to inherit an estate, or to compensate for the fact that they can’t resist over-booking any remotely popular flight.

3. Useless frequent flier miles. If you don’t watch your frequent flier program carefully, your airline could make you lose your miles forever! One reason you could lose these miles is that you were unable to find a flight where you could use the miles before they expired. All of which might not happen if so many people didn’t accumulate useless frequent flier miles. Conclusion: just put the frequent flier miles in your metaphorical suitcase, and leave it in your basement for years, because you might save as much money by not bringing a bag on the plane as trying to use the miles.

Categories: Business, Humor, Travel

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