Oh, Canada! Some Bandit Stole Your Bees. Half A Million Gone. In Abbotsford, BC!

And in case you’re wondering, you can actually sing our headline to “Oh, Canada.” Now to the news…

According to CBC News, half a million bees and about 8,000 pounds of honey were stolen from a beekeeper in Abbotsford, British Columbia, Canada.

As we wrote earlier this summer, in our continual quest to help Ellen Page, narrator of the documentary Vanishing Of The Bees find the bees, 500,000 bees were flown from Sweden to Greenland. Canadian police, and Canadian Ellen Page, we’re not saying that Greenland is involved in this latest incident… but they sure do seem to have an interest in half-million bee increments there….

This heist resulted in the theft of more bees than the population of the entire city of Sacramento, home ironically of the Sacramento Bee newspaper! We can imagine stealing a city of bees would agitate these insects that tend to sting people for lesser offenses, like moving the mustard at a picnic. But could it be worse? Of course! Here are:

3 Worse Things To Steal Than 500,000 Bees

1. 500,000 copies of the Print Edition of the Sacramento Bee. That’s more papers than people in the City, and the market value of that news is going to decline the instant the online edition is released!

If you want to ensure that people don’t steal something, put it in an impenetrable glass case! That’s why nobody will ever be able to steal this original costume from the movie MacGruber! Oh, and the fact that there is no demand for this item probably helps reduce theft, too.

2. 500,000 copies of the Print Edition of the Modesto Bee. They only have 70,000 daily subscribers, so you’re probably getting 430,000 copies of counterfeit merchandise!

3. 500,000 DVD copies of the documentary Vanishing of the Bees! First off, that’s a total jerk move stealing a documentary that raises awareness that the world’s bees are vanishing. Second, it kind of makes you a prime suspect of the missing Canadian bees, if you are so concerned with preventing people from knowing that bees are vanishing.

Happy British Columbia day to all of our B.C. readers! Also Happy Civic Holidays to all of our readers in New Brunswick, Northwest Territories, Nunavut, Saskatchewan, Manitoba, Ontario, Alberta, Nova Scotia, and Prince Edward Island!

Breaking News: Bee Watch 2012 Continues Monday, August 7! 3 PM Eastern.

Categories: Animals, Crime, Humor

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

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