Have you spent this Friday the 13th wishing that you could spend an entire night being chased by fake zombies in a zombie-themed amusement park, complete with warehouses, and run-down buildings? We did say the entire night, meaning you don’t get to go to sleep on this adventure. But you do get to pay money to do this. Did we mention this proposed amusement park would be in Detroit?
Well, according to the LA Times, a Detroit entrepreneur is seeking to raise money to potentially build such a theme park called “Z World Detroit.” If we understand Z World’s web site correctly, the goal of the entrepreneur is to raise $145,000 to research and come up with plans to convert Detroit’s most run down areas into a Zombie-Apocalypse theme park. So far, they’re far short of that goal, but if you like zombies, and have ever watched an infomercial, you might as well add the Z World web site video to your play list, given today’s date.
If we learned anything watching Michael Moore’s Roger & Me, the greater Detroit Area tried to attract tourists decades ago to a theme park called “Auto World” (the world’s largest indoor amusement park), and a Hyatt Regency hotel, all of which quickly went bankrupt. We’re not entrepreneurial experts, but if people don’t want to come to Detroit to stay in a luxury hotel, and visit an indoor amusement park in an often wintry climate, we question whether a 200 acre zombie theme park where guests stay up all night will help revitalize this city. And although we just panned the idea, for the entrepreneur who thought of it, it could be worse, here are:
3 Worse Ideas Than Building A Zombie Apocalypse Amusement Park In Detroit
1. Building a Detroit-themed Theme Park In Detroit. We’ve been to Detroit. The last thing Detroit needs is more Detroit. The good news is that the park could be built for cheap with all of Kid Rock’s iTunes proceeds, which we’re guessing aren’t high, since Kid Rock spent years refusing to adopt a business plan that involves selling his music on iTunes. But stick to your guns, Kid Rock, your business acumen is exactly the kind of reason you are able to credibly endorse Mitt Romney and his pro-business plans.
2. Building a Detroit-themed Theme Park at the International Space Station. It would cost more than $145,000 to build and get tourists up there. Although as a positive, the crime rate would be much lower, and tourists wouldn’t have to spend a night being chased by people dressed as zombies. Lonely cosmonauts would be far more likely to chase you.
3. Building a Detroit-themed Theme Park at Jurassic Park. Really, did you learn nothing from the Jurassic Park movies, Detroit? If dinosaurs aren’t afraid to mess with Samuel L. Jackson, there’s no way Eminem or Kid Rock are gonna win a rap-off with a velociraptor. Don’t make us bust out an “I’m a rappin’ raptor” rap as proof.
Happy Friday The Thirteenth! For More Friday The 13th Related Fun, Check Out: “Transylvanian Men Caught In Cliche Garlic Heist!”