ForSaleByOwner.com features this listing for a 6 bedroom, 6 bathroom 4,400-square-foot home, at an asking price of $35 grand, which includes free straight-talkin’ commentary from the seller.
From the listing:
“Also since this is a historical home with good quality items it is a target by local criminals who the police won’t arrest and they go around Detroit stripping homes…This is why the mansions are so cheep (sic) in Detroit!”
3 Other Reasons Mansions May Be So Cheap In Detroit
1. Listings by owners highlight the negative features like dangerous “lead paint” which may be harmful to children, instead of using a silver-tongued real estate agent to highlight the positives like “dangerous lead paint that your child will inevitably be exposed to, made right here in the US of A, and not China!”
2. Everyone in Detroit upgrading their homes to nearby, relatively-prestigious Cleveland addresses.
3. $35,000 for a mansion? This is a state where over a million people recently voted “free” was too expensive a price to pay for an international bridge across the Detroit River into Canada! That’s right, 1.85 million people voted against a free bridge, perhaps convinced by anti-free-bridge television commercials run by the private owner of Detroit’s Ambassador Bridge.
We’d like to be able to say: “If you believe that, we have a bridge to sell you.”
But we can’t say that because: (a) the story is true; and (b) you obviously can’t sell a bridge to 40% of Michigan residents if you can’t even give one away for free! Since $35,000 is infinity times greater than free, we wish the seller all of the best with their mini-mansion sale.
Categories: Humor, Real Estate
NotTheWorstNews 
Leave a comment