Author Archives
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Transylvanian Men Caught In Cliche Garlic Heist!
According to the Austrian Times, Austrian police have arrested five men from Transylvania for allegedly stealing 9.5 tonnes of garlic from Spain. “But I don’t know the metric system,” you worriedly say, “and therefore can’t put a reference point of… Read More ›
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3 Worse Things Than Getting Fired From Your Job Due To Your Religious Beliefs
We have selected our final entry to our challenge to readers to provide us with bad news, which comes from blogger List Of X, who recently wrote a funny entry on Mitt Romney math you should check out. List Of… Read More ›
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Are Satan’s Presidential Hopes In Jeopardy After “Vote Satan” Sign Stolen From Couple’s Lawn?
According to CBS News Denver, in a video report that can be viewed here, a Satanist couple from Mountainview, California, alleges that someone stole a “Vote Satan” sign from their home. Interestingly, thieves didn’t touch other items decorating their yard,… Read More ›
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3 Worse Places To Swim Than A Lake Full Of Teethy Pacu Fish On The Fourth Of July
We recently asked readers to send in their own links to bad news stories that we could use to remind everyone that whatever news they are reading, it’s Not The Worst News. Our second submission that we have selected, comes… Read More ›
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3 Worse Fictional Characters A New Zealand Reporter Could Have To Interview Than Cookie Monster
The New Zealand Herald news “reports” that Sesame Street characters Cookie Monster and Elmo “were game for a bungy jump if they ever came to New Zealand together.” “Will they or won’t they?” wonders probably nobody except the puppet masters who… Read More ›
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3 Worse Things Chicago Cabbies Could Use To Boost Your Fare If You Vomit Beyond A $50 Fee
According to RedEyeChicago, cab drivers in Chicago will soon be allowed to add $50 to the fare if a passenger vomits in their car. This sounds reasonable to us, until Chicago cab drivers start taking detours down Roller Coaster Avenue,… Read More ›
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3 Worse Things Than Having A Gun Pulled On You After You Pass Gas, Which Allegedly Happened To A NJ Man
NJ.com reports that a 72 year-old man from Teaneck, New Jersey was arrested after police say the elderly man heard his neighbor pass gas, and then allegedly pulled a gun on the neighbor. The elderly man was charged with aggravated… Read More ›
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3 Worse Outfits A Monkey Waiter Could Wear In This Japanese Restaurant Employing Monkey Waiters
We found this creepy video on CNN’s web site, that we encourage you to watch, of a Japanese restaurant that apparently has to abide by different health code practices than strip clubs in stringent British Columbia, Canada, which we wrote… Read More ›
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3 Worse Places You Could Receive A $3 Surcharge For Rudely Talking On Your Phone Than A Vermont Deli
The Consumerist reported yesterday that a Vermont deli imposed a new surcharge for its customers warning in a sign that “$3 will be added to your total if you fail to GET OFF YOUR PHONE while at the counter. IT’S… Read More ›
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National Geographic Poll: Obama Better Suited For U.F.O. Invasion Than Romney
According to a National Geographic study reported in the LA Times, 65% of Americans believe that U.S. President Barack Obama would be better able to handle an alien attack than Mitt Romney. In fairness to Mitt Romney, this is National… Read More ›
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