Author Archives
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Washington D.C. As Good At Naming Sports Teams As Passing Laws Voters Want
The Associated Press reports that 10 members of Congress have written a letter to the owner of the Washington Redskins, the NFL Commissioner, and the owners of every other NFL team, asking the team name be changed as it’s offensive… Read More ›
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Michelle Bachmann Will Consider Every Option Available In The World. P.S. Does Anyone Want To Store 6,000,000 Options In Their Garage Once She’s Done Reviewing Them?
CNN reports that Michelle Bachmann announced today that she will not be seeking reelection for her House of Representatives seat in 2014. From the article: “Bachmann, who’s in her fourth term representing Minnesota’s 6th District, promised that there ‘is no… Read More ›
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Time To Gawk At The Ol’ Business Plan For A While…
As we wrote last week, Gawker was seeking $200,000 from readers to buy an alleged video of Toronto Mayor, Rob Ford allegedly smoking crack. Canoe news reports, they’ve raised the money! Let’s get the popcorn ready, along with some children… Read More ›
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Those Signs Of What Not To Bring On An Airplane Indicate What Not To Bring On An Airplane.
NBC News reported on May 25 that a record number of guns were seized at U.S. airport security checkpoints last week. Specifically, the TSA confiscated 65 guns: 54 loaded. And eleven more unloaded. Also, we do not know if any… Read More ›
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Woman Says She’s Too Pretty To Work. “Right,” Said Fred, “I have the same problem!”
The mail reports that a 33-year-old science grad has quit her job, to live off her parents, because she is “too pretty to work.” Her parents pay for her monthly expenses, including designer clothing. From the article: “Even when I… Read More ›
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Ke$ha Drinks Own Urine On TV, Proving Putting Dollar Signs In Your Name Does Not Always Guarantee People Will Think You’re Classy!
Gawker reports that pop star Ke$ha urinated into a bottle and then drank it as part of an MTV reality show. Because, apparently, MTV’s definition of reality, is “this is something that happened.” And we can’t argue with that. The… Read More ›
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A&W Paying Five Bucks To Some People To Put Ads In Their Beards (Offer Apparently Does Not Apply To Abraham Lincoln, Who Ironically Appears On Five Dollar Bills)
Business Insider reports that A&W is putting mini-advertisements in an unconventional location. For $5 a day, men can be paid to walk around with an advertisement in their beards! And that sounds like enough money to get something to eat… Read More ›
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