1. Ted Cruz combines “TrusTED” campaign with the B-52’s Love Shack to create remix replacing “Tin Roof Rusted” with “Ted Cruz – Trusted!”*

2.  Doctor Ben Carson announces he is suspending his Champagne. Because he won’t win a state he is skipping, so there’s no reason to celebrate. Or because his bizarre ideas were champagne induced. You decide!

3.  Donald Trump fires personal jet pilot after wasting time flying to the Hamptons instead of New Hampshire. Then calls other candidates losers for flying to Old Hampshire instead of New Hamptonshire.

*He’s still not cool, people – especially since we came up with this better idea than whatever music he uses at rallies!

Categories: 2016 Presidential Election, Mildly Bad News

Tags: Advertising, B-52s, Humor, marketing, music, New Hampshire, Parody, Politics, satire