Vladimir Putin Cologne

CNN reports that in Russia you can buy a Vladimir Putin inspired cologne called “Leaders.” Since Putin seems to like Trump, and Trump probably already has his own brands of cologne, here are:

3 Fresh Brands of Fragrances We Propose For U.S. Presidential Candidates

  1. Losers. This cologne is meant for spraying in the eyes of “losers” at your school or local gym before shoving them in a locker.
  2. Trump kin Pumpkin. Made out of the world’s excess simulated pumpkin flavor that Starbucks is replacing with real pumpkin. Worn by one of the adult Trump kids who is less popular than Ivanka.
  3. Colonel Bernie Sanders. For those days where you don’t want KFC, but want to smell like you just walked by a KFC, as Bernie Sanders, known for not flying in private jets likely walks by daily.
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Categories: Mildly Bad News

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