The Globe and Mail published a piece by Kate Taylor today in which she rants about her inability to watch last night’s Republican Candidate Debate on a television.  Taylor wrote:

“The debate was airing on a channel well above the cable access of us lesser mortals and the Fox News website only produced a video streaming in a window the size of a playing card.”

As we are all about helping media, here are 3 tips for her future pieces.

1. If you receive an assignment to cover a debate that you think is on the FOX Channel, go to the FOX web site before the debate, to find out the schedule so you don’t miss any of the debate!  What’s that? The FOX network is showing Bones at 9 pm? Is that still on the air? The only bones we want to see are boners Republicans get when they zing each other during the debate, which was almost never last night, as the Fox News moderators seemed to confuse “debates” with “interviews.”
2. Now that you have established, well in advance, that the show is not on Fox, but on the Fox News network, find out if you get Fox News on your TV. What’s that? The cable provider you mentioned in your piece charges $5.99 for a news theme pack including Fox News? Order it and get your National Newspaper to pay for it well in advance of the debate.
3. If you are unable to get the Globe and Mail to pay $5.99 for a month to order the “news” theme pack, perhaps you may be able to get some help from a competing television service provider named Bell. In case you are wondering who “Bell” is, their parent company owns 15% of your newspaper, so maybe someone there can be of assistance.  Because having a “news” theme pack may actually make it appear that you care about things like “news” when you cover “news” stories for your newspaper.

Categories: Mildly Bad News

Tags: Canada, Humor, journalism, media, Parody, Politics, satire, technology, Writing