Yahoo Finance reports that a Luxembourg company called Altice reportedly may bid for Time-Warner Cable, after recently buying another smaller St. Louis area cable company.

Here are 3 changes we’d like to see to if this trend continues…

1. Right to free waffles from neighbor Belgium, if you call your cable company and the person tries to talk you out of whatever you want to cancel.

2. Cable installers will also convert your home to a Luxembourg-style palace as part of an internet and home phone bundle.

3. Call-in centers will add service in official languages French, German, and Luxembourgish. (Hint the lowest wait times will be for those selecting Luxembourgish, so perhaps you might want to order that language using Rosetta Stone and your cable data.)

Categories: Mildly Bad News

Tags: Business, Humor, internet, Luxembourg, Parody, satire, technology, television, TV