Finnish Company Buys Louisville Slugger

Bloomberg reports that American baseball bat maker, Louisville Slugger has been purchased by a Finnish company.  So here are:

3 New Names We Propose For The Product

1. Recycled-Finnish-Smoke-Sauna-Wood Slugger

2. Helsinki Wooden Bat That Will Hit The Ball Farther If You Play By Finnish Baseball Rules” Super-Slugger

3. Very bright object (applies during Finland’s dark, extended winters.)

*Finnish Baseball is called Pesäpallo, and the balls are easier to hit because the pitches are thrown vertically. Yes, we ensure accuracy when making the most relevant jokes about Finland.

Categories: Mildly Bad News

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