Finnish Company Buys Louisville Slugger

Bloomberg reports that American baseball bat maker, Louisville Slugger has been purchased by a Finnish company.  So here are:

3 New Names We Propose For The Product

1. Recycled-Finnish-Smoke-Sauna-Wood Slugger

2. Helsinki Wooden Bat That Will Hit The Ball Farther If You Play By Finnish Baseball Rules” Super-Slugger

3. Very bright object (applies during Finland’s dark, extended winters.)

*Finnish Baseball is called Pesäpallo, and the balls are easier to hit because the pitches are thrown vertically. Yes, we ensure accuracy when making the most relevant jokes about Finland.

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Categories: Mildly Bad News

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