The Toronto Sun reports that a report about a security camera video of Toronto Mayor Rob Ford suggests that the Mayor was intoxicated in a parking garage on Easter Monday.
The Mayor’s brother, Doug, had this explanation about the Mayor having difficulty walking due to “muscle spasms” in his legs:
“He was bench pressing a lot of weight and it was ripping up his legs and (he was) just trying to stretch his legs out to get the spasms away…He could barely even walk because they were so sore.”
3 More Possible Explanations Of Why A Person Who Appears Drunk Can’t Walk
1. “He was bench pressing a lot of weight on the moon. So that was pretty easy to do, because there wasn’t a lot of gravity there. But that did make walking a doozy!”
2. “He wasn’t wearing his eyeglasses, so couldn’t see that the escalator said “up” when he was trying to go downward. And he couldn’t see the floor. What do you mean you’ve never seen him wear eyeglasses? You’re only watching him late at night, when he keeps forgetting his eyeglasses because he was too drunk to remember them. Oh, scrap that last thing I just said.”
3. “Where we come from, line dancing in a parking lot is walking. Get with the times!”