You Are Totally Never Going To Graduate From Blue Square To Black Diamond Ski Hills With All These Human Obstacles Walking Up The Hills For Free!

Whenever we can, we read the blogs of people who have followed this blog, or somehow otherwise ended up in our WordPress reader.

So, today’s news was found in our reader reported by WordPress site Sykose Extreme Sports News.

And what’s going on in the world of “extreme” sports? People are walking up ski hills to get a good work out, save chairlift fees, and attend an occasional unauthorized moonlight party at the top of the hill. So the U.S. Forest Service has proposed a rule that will allow an “uphill” fee at some ski areas.

3 Other Groups We’d Like To See Charged Additional Fees On Ski Hills

1. People who don’t believe in global warming or climate change, yet are skiing down the only thin strip of man-made snow, which exactly happens to be a popular place to walk up! Extra charge if they arrived with their ski-rack on top of a gas guzzling, trendy, imported (but really assembled in America) cross-over vehicle.

2. Cheapskates who drive cross-over vehicles up the hill to save on transportation up the hill and parking! It all sounds like a value proposition until some stoned snowboarders push your cross-over vehicle down the hill during one of the moonlight, hill-top parties mentioned in the article, resulting in the death of a wearwolf at the bottom of the hill, and having to ironically put a cross over the grave site.

3. People skiing on anything of higher difficulty than “Green Circle” using the classic snow plow move. Didn’t you read this blog first – there is no snow to plow! Which makes you just a circa early 1900s War Horse plow. The good news, is with all of your agricultural plowing, if you are skiing in Colorado, perhaps you may be able to plant some legal marijuana*, which can be conveniently transported up the hill in time for the moonlight party by people looking for a way to earn back the uphill fee by selling drugs.

*Caution! Probably not legal! Always consult your state and federal laws before doing anything!

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Categories: Humor, Sports

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

2 replies

  1. I like #3. It ties up everyone into one happy family (except the werewolf, rip)

    Like

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