Now Science Just Needs To Grow A Lady To Ask “Where’s The Beef?”

The Associated Press reports that a team of scientists in the Netherlands fried a hamburger made of meat grown in a lab. That’s right, muscle cells from organic cows + science + $330,000 = meat!

3 More Things We’d Like To See Scientists Grow In Labs

1. Scripts for new animated movies where vehicles and other inanimate objects can talk. Not because we want to see a movie worse than Cars 2, or a movie about talking airplanes. But rather, because we want to see a script about talking petri dishes and beakers, which would certainly result.

2. Scripts for TV shows mocking movies about talking inanimate objects. Sure, that already happened on the Simpsons in 2005, which parodied the genre with a fictional movie trailer about a deck of talking playing cards. We just want to see more TV shows like this, since the fact that a movie about talking airplanes opens this week indicates nobody got the Simpsons memo!

3. $330,000 in gold. Someone’s gotta pay for these expensive burgers!



Categories: Humor, Technology

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2 replies

  1. Your film works fine as a basic summary of some of the maisvse problems we face. But that’s been done a fair bit before. And every environmental documentary ends with a message somewhere along the lines of now go out there and change things’ (although admittedly few seem to suggest violent resistance & sabotage like your film.)But I think what’s really needed is a coherent vision of how 7 billion people (rising to 9 billion by 2050) can live together sustainably and with a decent basic quality of life. Without that, you are never going to persuade a large enough proportion of the population to put aside their own short term attempts to accumulate wealth. Fear of scarcity only increases greed. Unless you can show people some way that we can transition from the current global system to a new one (short of a mass human population cull), then they’re never going to actively work to bring down the old system, however doomed they know it is. They will continue to see environmental protestors as a threat, and you will not change anything.We need viable alternatives to oil & fertilizer based agriculture that can feed future population levels. We need to develop food sources that will survive the coming changes in climate. We need to find ways to provide power and warmth to people without further degrading the environment. We need a global plan. Rather than just tearing everything down and saying you’ve done your bit. The hard work has to come beforehand, in preparing the alternative. Desired societal change comes not as a reaction to direct action by a minority (which is why terrorism rarely succeeds), but as a result of people feeling confident enough to try alternatives themselves, and demanding that their governments allow such changes to take place. People need to see that alternatives have been fully thought through, that they can work on a global scale, and can be implemented in managable steps, before they’ll even consider a change. They’re not just going to leap into the dark.Civilizational collapse is not something hopeful. It brings famine, war, barbarism, death on an unimmaginable scale. If we bought the current system crashing to it’s knees without a viable alternative in place, we would not simply revert to hunter-gatherer tribes. As food runs scarce we will strip the land bare in a desperate struggle to survive. I doubt the type of people doing the right things now (permaculture etc.) will be the ones to weather the storm. In a collapse the brutal & ruthless triumph. And that’s without even considering the world’s nuclear weapon stockpile.I’m not saying I have the answers to any of this stuff. But I do think we need answers, before we start sabotaging our current system.

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