Space.com reports that a new service by a company called Lone Signal allows you to beam text messages and photos into space, in hopes that alien life will be able to check them out. The first message is free, but like many things addictive, you have to pay for additional messages.
3 Crappy Messages People Can Now Send To Aliens
1. “I know everyone says this, but I’m tired of the bar scene. So, if you’re a single vegan, have only one non-dinosaur head, and are looking for a long distance relationship, send me a smile, or wink, or flirt, or glork, or whatever your extraterrestrial match.com-like service sends to respond to the cute selfie I just posted.”
2. “Since I can’t actually shoot bullets eighteen light-years away, please use this complimentary image of a bullet to shoot the nearest deer, or robot-deer, or plants with deer-heads, or whatever people hunt legally pursuant to their 2nd amendment rights on your planet!”
3. “I am the attorney of your long-lost relative from the planet Earth, and all you have to do is read this lengthy, tragic, but not-believable story, that I’ve included in this message, and I will send you $100,000,000 Earth dollars! You deserve it for being able to decipher a letter in awkwardly-written, often-misspelled English! Please be sure to include your Social Insurance and bank account numbers so that I may direct the funds directly into your intergalactic account.”
That makes 364 consecutive daily entries for Not The Worst News. Will this blog complete a 365 day streak of writing comedy entries based on news? Tomorrow is the day to find out!