Disney Acquires Almost Every Other Hero It Didn’t Acquire Through Marvel

Engadget reports that Disney (owner of your favorite Marvel superheroes) has acquired Lucasfilm Ltd., including the rights to Star Wars and Indiana Jones. According to the report, Disney plans to release a Star Wars film every two to three years.

3 Worse Things A Media Giant Could Acquire And Release Every Two To Three Years.

1. The Winter Olympics. We think once every four years is enough to crown an international winner of the biathlon, a sport that combines cross-country skiing with rifle-shooting, which are two modern real-world skills likely most necessary for a boring James Bond Movie set in a country with no hills.

2. The Fall Olympics. Pumpkin-Jack O-Lantern-carving-with-a-rifle may at first sound more exciting than the biathlon (until the zombies attack on Halloween, and all the world’s rifles are out of ammunition from carving pumpkins.)

3. A live animatronic U.S. president show. While kids across America may adore an animatronic Abraham Lincoln giving a speech at Disneyland, we wonder if Mitt Romney wins, whether a robotic Mitt Romney might seem just a little too realistic for kids to enjoy after floating through the less realistic animatronic sing-a-long ride It’s A Small World.

Categories: Humor, Movies, Sports

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1 reply

  1. Shit, that’s exactly the fneileg. I don’t think people will ever change to being better and so change the world to be sustainable, peaceful and healthy etc. of some product to be improved and upgraded. People are full of imperfections and are violent, egoistic, selfish, mean, but also loving and caring to a degree. I think what you’re getting at is really the big issue. I think part of the reason this system will not and can not ever function is that people will not improve, we can not have a system that depends on speeding up the evolution of empathy and loving kindness to work in the long run. However I think that rather small groups of people can do a lot of harm to this insane system, because it’s built on physical structures to function and so has physical weaknesses. And in proportion I think few really dedicated people could do a lot to prevent the rest of the people from killing the world. I can recommend looking at and reading books like and find people that are into stopping this genocidal culture from wrecking the world. If you want to contribute in a way that isn’t depending on having a majority of people changing their minds I think you could look at what is happening at the . Find some great people, head out in the woods! I used to love my iPhone but now I got rid of it and it’s great having so much time and energy doing other things. Sorry for a late answer but I moved out in the woods to an action-camp. That’s a way to find cool comrades. Peace, love and molotov’s!


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