Here is a headline from Yahoo Finance today:

“Yahoo Finance Exclusive: What keeps Warren Buffett up at night.”

Ooooh what could it be?  He’s one of the smartest, most successful people in the world.  Whatever it is, we bet it’s insightful. Let’s look at the exclusive answer…

“But nothing keeps me up at night. Never has.” – Warren Buffett’s response to pointless question asking what keeps him up at night.

Since we’re all about helping reporters, here are three better headlines for this story…

1. “We should have phoned Warren Buffett every ten minutes from 4:00 a.m. to 5:00 a.m. to keep him up at night. Then we could have said we keep Warren Buffett up all night and had a hot scoop!”
2. “What news story will cure your insomnia and not keep Warren Buffett up at night? Hint: This One. What? You Already Fell Asleep?”
3. “Spoiler Alert: Clickbait Does Not Keep Warren Buffett Up At Night.”

Categories: Business

Tags: Business, clickbait, Humor, insomnia, journalism, media, Parody, satire, sleep