Yahoo News Digest reports that a competitive eater named Joey Chestnut ate an entire 9.35 turkey in 10 minutes in a competition held at a Connecticut casino Saturday.

3 Questions That Arise From This Story

1. Yeah, but how long can you eat everything in the casino buffet? (We don’t recommend he try this in Atlantic City casinos, as they don’t need another reason to go out of business.)

2. “How can we spend Thanksgiving with competitive turkey-eaters instead of our families?” (asked by readers who would rather their dinners last ten minutes so they can avoid political debates, and spend more time in big box store parking lots to take part in Black Friday sales that start on Thursday.)

3. “Hey, why are you all complaining about political debates with your families?” (asked by family of 9.35 pound turkey in Connecticut whose own plans for grain pecking and related family political squawking have been ruined).

Categories: Mildly Bad News

Tags: contests, debating, family, Humor, Parody, Politics, satire, Thanksgiving, turkeys