We Propose Three New Names For Radio Shack

Reuters reports that Radio Shack stock sank yesterday after an analyst cut its stock price target to $0.

Perhaps the problem here is that the words “Radio” and “Shack” don’t exactly convey high-tech, in a world where a future watch allows you to send your heartbeat to your friends, because you only hang out with cardiologists.

3 New Names We Propose For Radio Shack

1. Family Zero Dollar Store. Hey, if someone thinks the company is worth zero, then shouldn’t that person just sell us the whole company for $0, so that we can pay $0 for seemingly limitless watch batteries for our obsolete watches that use non-rechargeable batteries and only tell time?

2. Mall Indoor Yard Sale. Has anybody tried to dominate the yard sale industry the same way Starbucks dominates coffee? Think about it: Radio Shack probably sells the same stuff your neighbor is trying to get rid of. And your neighbor’s yard has to compete with weather and teenagers stealing signs marked “yard sale.” Brilliant business idea, we say!

3. Radio Castle. Does anybody want to buy the latest technology at a place that brands itself as a “shack?” By switching to “Castle” they may be able to get upscale customers who are willing to pay $350 for an iWatch; nerds who are really into castles; and stoners who think they are at White Castle, and may actually buy something.

Categories: Mildly Bad News

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