Apple unveiled the Apple Watch today, which features Siri mobile talking assistant, and a bunch of other things $30,000 watches can’t do. The watch will be ready some time in 2015, just in time to return useless Christmas gift watches.
3 Things We Wonder Whether A Rolex Would Say… If It Could Talk.
1. “Hey, stupid $300-and-something-dollar-and-up watch, let’s see how good you are when someone swims with you in water! What do you mean the swimmer just bought 100 new watches to deal with that for the same price as me?”
2. “I will never be obsolete! Just ask my friend, Gold-Plated Fax Machine, over here. What’s that Fax Machine? ‘Screeeech screech screech?’ Exactly.”
3. “I’m not threatened by you because I am bling that will impress people. People will be all like… oooh, I want to talk to that cool guy in the bar with the watch that isn’t lit up, sending heart symbols to my watch. You know, the watch I can’t really see that does nothing that can strike up a meaningful conversation beyond “Guess how much I paid for this useless accessory.”
Categories: Mildly Bad News