The New York Times reports that Facebook will require users who use its mobile messaging app on their Facebook App to download a separate mobile messaging app.
One of the benefits of the new messenger app is more elaborate smileys… we’ll just quote the article:
“If you’re not feeling so well, it might be easier to send this smiley of someone vomiting…”
Yes, that does sound easier than typing words on your phone while you are vomiting! Here’s 3 more smileys we’d like to see…
1. Unsympathetic smiley showing appropriate disdain for someone who just messaged a vomiting smiley. Because we know that once a kid throws up, so does every other kid in the classroom, in a chain reaction. So we’d expect the same thing to happen when someone sees a vomiting smiley. In fairness, we are basing this on science class, where we did not pay much attention because all of the kids were vomiting after watching a coyote get dissected by a possibly crazy grade school science teacher.*
2. Perplexed Android user-who-doesn’t-know-what-smartphones-do smiley. This smiley hasn’t unboxed its phone, and will keep swiping the photo of the phone on the box. Unfortunately, you will never be able to send this smiley to the right people, since they will never figure out how to get their phones out of the boxes, never mind download a messaging app.
3. Smiley which accidentally swipes it “hearts” your bathroom-mirror selfie on Instagram, and then shakes it head like “Oh no, I didn’t.” There just is no polite way to explain: “Yeah, I didn’t really like that photo of you,” so if you don’t have this smiley, just suck it up, and click that you like every else’s pics, so it looks like you really are polite.
*Yes a teacher really did this. Where did you go to school?