CNN reports that Direct TV is currently not offering the Weather Channel to its customers due to the parties not being able to reach a deal in negotiations. According to the report, the Weather Channel wants more money per subscriber than previously paid, and Direct TV wants to pay less.
So now Direct TV customers may have to look elsewhere to find out if it’s snowing, beyond the fact that their dish is covered in snow, perhaps blocking satellite signals.
3 Potential Substitutes For A Cable Channel About Weather
1. Your window. Even if it faces a brick wall, you may be able to tell if its raining. Still unsure? Open the window and stick your head outside. Note: do not do this if you live in the apartment building from the 1980s video game “Crazy Climber” because people throw flower pots out the windows of that building.
2. That person in the elevator you are forced to make small talk with. They’ll let you know the weather, and as a bonus, provide commentary about why it’s too extreme, no matter what the temperature is. Then again, if you live in the building from Crazy Climber, those neighbors are not very accurate at predicting the weather, which is why their potted plants keep dying.
3. A psychic hotline. Because, if someone is telling you there’s a 50% chance of rain, can you ever say they are bad at predicting the weather? It’s raining – they’re right! It’s not raining – they were also right! At least a psychic can “predict” the weather and more spicy information, such as whether that cute neighbor with all the potted plants has a secret crush on you.
Categories: Humor, television
Or watch local news. Or check online. Or download an app.
Or schedule the Super Bowl in frigid NYC and do all of the above to see if you have to reschedule for another day when the product in Bruno Mars’ hair won’t freeze.