At tonight’s Presidential debate, Mitt Romney told moderator and former PBS anchor Jim Lehrer that although he likes Big Bird, he will still cut subsidies to PBS.
3 Other Possible Kids’ Characters Mitt Romney May Want The U.S. Government To Stop Subsidizing
1. The Exxon Tiger. Mitt implied he could put cutting subsidies to big oil companies on the table if the corporate tax rates of those oil companies were lowered. This could be terrible news for the Exxon Tiger, because let’s face it, as fun as animated tigers may be, there aren’t many kids filling up their tricycles with premium gas. Which is probably why other corporations use animated tigers to sell Gr-rrr-reat sugary children’s breakfast cereals! Know your audience, zoo animals!
2. The guy in the Elmo suit who keeps getting in trouble for offensive rants in Times Square. Remember, when police haul him off to jail, it’s taxpayers’ money putting him there. So cutting spending on his arrests may be a bad idea, as more innocent tourists may quickly learn Times Square is not Disneyland, and hugging people in Sesame Street outfits there is done at their own peril.
3. The Schoolhouse Rock Bill On Capitol Hill. As fewer bills mean less government spending, if the singing Bill On Capitol Hill is still employed in a Nick At Nite rerun somewhere, he may want to search for a new job if Romney gets elected. And if Romney gets elected, we might suggest the well-paying job of being a bill at the Cheesecake Factory, where Mitt reportedly had dinner before the debate. Unfortunately, being a bill at the Cheesecake Factory is harder work than singing, because you have to know all 10,000 eclectic menu items in the menu catalog off by heart! And you thought this Bill had blues to sing on Capitol Hill – that menu probably has more pages than the Obama healthcare legislation!