Report: Toronto Mayor Rob Ford Wants To Stop Cancellation of Jesus-In-The-City Parade

The Toronto Sun reports that a parade called “Jesus-In-The-City,” originally scheduled for next month, had to be cancelled due to conflicting scheduled road works on the parade route.

3 Possible Solutions

1. If Jesus can walk on water, certainly he can walk on a new parade route, perhaps in Lake Ontario. Note: as Jesus is not available, Criss Angel may be able to create this illusion.

2. Turn water into wine, and people may care less which streets the parade is on. Again, if miracle-performers are unavailable, this might just require buying lots of wine to use in parade route water coolers.

3. Write an editorial in a Toronto newspaper that streets are meant to be closed, inconveniencing people, only for parades, and not for road work. We suspect this may have happened.

Categories: Mildly Bad News

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