Marco Rubio said in tonight’s GOP debate that he’d gradually like to raise the retirement age to obtain social security to 70 by the time his kids retire. Since we are all about helping politicians, here are: 3 More Presents… Read More ›
Mildly Bad News
Trump Steaks Really Bush Brothers Steaks
CNBC reports that some of the assortment of items Donald Trump showed reporters last night are not actually for sale to the public. From the article: “‘If we sold $50,000 of [Trump] steaks grand total, I’d be surprised,’ [former Sharper… Read More ›
Make America Steak Again!
In a press conference tonight, Donald Trump showed reporters Trump-branded frozen steaks, water, and other products, to presumably prove that they are successful products, unlike some in the media have suggested. 3 More Trump-Branded Products We’d Like To See Trump-micowaves. You… Read More ›
3 Slogans We Propose For Sears/Kmart
The Street reports that Sears is seeking a new $750 million loan to help its Sears and Kmart chains stay afloat. Since we’re all about helping formerly dominant companies, here are our 3 new slogans we propose for Sears/Kmart. Sears… Read More ›
Sorry, MC Skat Kat, Science Says Opposites Don’t Attract
The Telegraph reports that researchers from Wellesley College and the University of Kansas proves people in longer relationships tend to have more in common with each other. The study looked at pairs of people in relationships, and also pairs of… Read More ›
3 New Slogans For “Skinny” Bundles
A CBC reader called Canada’s new government-mandated $25 TV skinny bundle packages a “rip-off.” These plans give subscribers a basic bundle of major networks, and allows them to buy other bundles of channels to add to their basic bundle. Complaints… Read More ›
3 Step Guide Of How To Move To Canada If Trump Wins
CNBC reports that “How to move to Canada” has trended on Google since Trump won numerous states on Super Tuesday. For those seeking advice, we offer these 3 tips: The residents of the Trump Tower Toronto may be looking for… Read More ›
Brief Summary Of Super Tuesday
America has turned into one giant Risk game board! Who put the menacing Chris Christie piece on Florida behind Donald Trump? That piece is supposed to be in Kamchatka! Just like the real game, Risk, everyone says they are winning…… Read More ›
Skinny Bundles Coming To Canada
CBC reports that on March 1, all Canadian TV providers will be required to sell $25 “skinny bundles” of television stations that exclude hundreds of channels that consumers may not watch. Customers can buy the basic bundle and then add… Read More ›
3 Slogans We Propose For Disney’s New Pricing
CNN reports that Disney will be adjusting its pricing at its American Theme Parks based on the time of year, with three price ranges: Value, Regular, and Peak periods. Since we’re all about helping media conglomerates, here are 3 slogans… Read More ›
NotTheWorstNews 