Time reports that a 19-year-old named “Bud Weisser” was arrested on Thursday for allegedly trespassing on a private area of the St. Louis Budweiser brewery. 3 Questions That Arise From This Story Okay, media, did anyone fact check this? This sounds… Read More ›
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Breaking: Anderson Cooper Showing Wear Moderators Will Sit In Tomorrow’s GOP Debate!
Anderson Cooper just did a segment showing where specific CNN reporters will be sitting at tomorrow night’s GOP debate. 3 Reasons CNN must think this is “news.” Everyone wants to know where Dana Bash is going to sit. By, everyone,… Read More ›
Report: “Unstable Antenna” On Toronto Trump Tower Forces Closure Of Major Intersection
CBC reports that a major intersection in Toronto’s financial district has been shut down due to an “unstable antenna” on the 65-storey Toronto Trump Tower. 3 Questions That Arise From This Story Is an “unstable antenna” what’s hidden under Trump’s… Read More ›
Breaking: Donald Trump Rocking Suit And Red Baseball Cap… But Doesn’t Seem To Know Mercedes Builds Vehicles In Alabama
Donald Trump is speaking in a stadium in Mobile, Alabama, live on CNN, MSNBC, and Fox News. He is wearing a red cap, which we assume is his outdoor-avoid-a-combover-blowing-in-the-wind cap. In his speech, he pointed out that Americans get nothing… Read More ›
Breaking News: Trump Said Something
Last night, Donald Trump held his first Presidential bid town hall Q&A. CNN, MSNBC, and Fox News all aired the meeting, with commercial breaks often inserted midway through points by Mr. Trump. 3 Slogans We Propose For These Three News… Read More ›
Donald Trump and Drunk Uncle Called For Jury Duty in New York
Fox News reports that Donald Trump and SNL cast member Bobby Moynihan were called for jury duty at a New York City Courthouse. Imagine seeing those two on the same jury. Then imagine both of them deciding your fate! 4… Read More ›
3 New Vacations We Propose For Americans As “Summer Fridays” Decline
Yahoo Finance reports that only 8% of Americans get extra free days off during the summer, including Fridays (known as “Summer Fridays!”) Anyway, here are 3 new holidays we propose in light of the new apparent holiday decline… Summer “Trump”… Read More ›
Oops! Fed Reserve Allegedly Accidentally Published Rate Hike Plans Online.
Reuters reports that the U.S. Federal Reserve allegedly accidentally published its plans online to raise interest rates by 0.25% this year. 3 Questions That Arise From This Story 1. Could they publish something that would raise the public’s interest rates… Read More ›
San Jose Mecury News Publishes Online Article That Reads Like The Onion
The San Jose Mercury News published an article about a company planned to be spun off by Yahoo named “Aabaco Holdings Inc.” The article was entitled “Yahoo’s Alibaba spinoff has a new name, but it’s already taken.” This might be… Read More ›
New York Stock Exchange And United Airlines Shut Down On Same Day Due To Tech Issues. Here’s A Conversation We Imagine Resulted!
Fox News reports that all United Airlines planes were temporarily grounded for a few hours today, followed by the New York Stock Exchange halting trading of all stocks listed there due to technical issues. Oh, and the Wall Street Journal… Read More ›