CBC reports that Ivanka and Eric Trump missed the October 9, 2015 deadline to register in the New York Republican primary and therefore cannot vote for their father. Donald Trump was reported saying this to Fox and Friends: “They had… Read More ›
Mildly Bad News
3 More Headlines We Propose For Toronto Sun Raccoon Sex Story
Yesterday we wrote about a real Toronto Sun headline about a woman waking up to raccoons having sex on her balcony. Here are 3 more headlines we would have used instead: “Now a story that will embarrass all those raccoons… Read More ›
Real Toronto Sun Headline: “Toronto woman wakes up to raccoon sex”
The Toronto Sun reports that a woman woke up at 7 am to raccoons having sex on her balcony. Here’s an excerpt from the article: “‘I’m an animal lover but I can’t stand this,’ she said. ‘I found it gross… Read More ›
Ted Cruz iPhone Appeared To Be Getting Messages During CNN Interview
In a CNN Dana Bash interview in New York aired on Thursday, the iPhone tritone ring went off a few times during the interview. The ring is the default for received voice messages. We’re going to assume political reporter Dana… Read More ›
Dragon Horn Injections.
Yahoo reports that a woman has taken drastic steps to resemble a dragon. You can view a photo by clicking here. As part of this effort, the former banker has surgically removed her ears and nose, and had horn injections…. Read More ›
3 Slogans We Propose For The NFL On Twitter
Yahoo reports that Twitter has secured the rights to ten 2016 NFL Thursday Night Football games. Since we’re all about helping social media, here are: 3 New Slogans We Propose For Twitter Twitter: the perfect place to view the NFL… Read More ›
3 Similes We Have For Wisconsin
Ted Cruz is like Milwaukee’s beer, Miller. He’s the Champagne of beers, or in other words, the best of the worst leading Republican candidates. Donald Trump is like Milwaukee’s motor cycle manufacturer, Harley-Davidson… a noisy HOG of television time. Bernie Sanders… Read More ›
Guy Sues Toronto Because He Says “TORONTO” Sign Was His Idea
The Toronto Sun reports that a man has sued the City of Toronto for $2.5 million for allegedly stealing his “idea” of putting up a sign that says “TORONTO” in block letters at City Hall. 3 Sarcastic Comments About This… Read More ›
Trump Says Now Is A Lousy Time To Buy Stocks
Yahoo Finance reports that Donald Trump predicted a “very massive recession” on Saturday and said it is a lousy time to buy stocks. 3 Questions That Arise From This Story What does Donald Trump know about buying stocks? Anyone who… Read More ›
3 April Fools’ Pranks We’d Like To See
1. Donald Trump hands Ted Cruz one dollar in a bathroom stall – just like in the movie Trading Places. It’s the amount they secretly bet they could win a Presidential nomination by saying all the wrong things and alienating… Read More ›
NotTheWorstNews 