“Making America great again, and by ‘great’ I mean action-packed like in saloons in western movies where any drunk person could carry a gun wherever they go.” “Trump knows it’s impossible to keep a bad guy from getting a gun…. Read More ›
Mildly Bad News
Walking Dead Fan Bites Show Star At Convention
CNN reports that a female Walking Dead fan has bit show star Norman Reedus at a “Walker Stalker” convention. Reportedly he won’t be pressing charges, but asks fans to not bite him. Ms. Bitey has been banned from future conventions…. Read More ›
3 Reasons To Be Happy Canadian Dollar Has Fallen To 11-Year Low
Bloomberg reports that due to declining oil prices, the Canadian dollar has fallen to an eleven year low, with one “Loonie” valued at 74.08 U.S. cents. Canadian band Nickelback will be forced to rename itself 3.702-Pennies-Back. Canada doesn’t even use… Read More ›
Report: Porsche To Mass Produce Electric Sports Car
USA Today reports that Porsche has plans to mass produce an electric sports car. The car will have 600 horsepower. 3 Questions That Arise From This Story Since Volkswagen owns Porsche, will this put engineers who alter emission readings out… Read More ›
Stolen U.S. Credit Cards Worth As Low As $5 On Black Market
Yahoo Finance reports that stolen U.S. credit card information is worth as little as $5 on the black market. 3 Theories We Have As To Why Getting busted by police after video released online of “Guy fraudulently buying a Happy… Read More ›
Guinness Beer Plans A Vegan Version… So What Animal Product Is In It, You Ask?
CNN reports that Guinness plans on eliminating an ingredient used to filter yeast from its beer brewed in Ireland. It won’t be removing the ingredient from Guinness brewed in about 50 other countries. The ingredient: fish bladder. Since we are… Read More ›
Finally A Car With A Moose Alert!
Yahoo Finance reports that the Swedish-carmaker-owned-by-a-Chinese-Company, Volvo has introduced a car that warns you if there is a moose on the road. Here are three more alerts we’d like to see… Someone-actually-bought-a-Volvo-in-the-2010s alert. If someone is driving the IKEA of… Read More ›
Yahoo! Assets For Sale…
CNBC reports that Yahoo’s Board of Directors is considering selling its core assets. 3 Yahoo Core Assets We’d Like To Buy Angry illogical message board posts. All ten thousand of them after each political news article. We would then sell… Read More ›
3 Down To The Wire Cyber Monday Republican Party Candidate Sales
Free denounced Canadian citizenship documents from Canadian-born Ted Cruz with every U.S. dollar* donated online to the Cruz campaign. Enter the secret access code to Chris Christie’s donation site, and receive a free pass to secret tunnel between New York… Read More ›
3 Cyber Monday Republican Candidate Sales We Hope To See
It’s just a few days until Cyber Monday! Here are some deals we’d like to see: Free roast for anyone who follows Donald Trump on Twitter.* Make a donation to Ben Carson, and he’ll make one of his crazy ideas… Read More ›
NotTheWorstNews 