Detroit’s 7 Action News reports that a 12-year-old brought a backpack full of $20,000 in cash to school, and started handing it out to classmates in what Yahoo news describes as “quite the show-and-tell.” Which is quite true, because school officials… Read More ›
Humor
We’re Actually Beginning To Wish We Had More Tom Cruise News and Less Carnival Cruise News!
CNN reports that just days after Carnival Cruise Lines announced it is flying passengers to Florida from a malfunctioning ship in St. Maarten, a different Carnival cruise ship is experiencing technical difficulties that is affecting its speed. That’s four Carnival… Read More ›
TSA Reportedly Will Stick By Its Decision To Allow Knives On Planes, So Now You Can Cut The Meat In Your Imaginary Domestic Airline Meal!
CNN reports that despite criticism from flight attendants, airlines, and members of Congress, the Chief of the Transportation Security Administration, John Pistole, stands by his decision to permit certain knives on commercial planes beginning next month. Because, you know, having… Read More ›
Don’t Mess With Texas, Unless You Want A Company To Examine The DNA of Your Dog’s Poop!
WFAA-TV of Dallas-Fort Worth reports that local apartment building landlords are demanding samples of dog DNA from canine-owning tenants, to help catch pooper-scooper offenders on building property. A company called “PooPrints” determines which dog is responsible for unscooped poop and… Read More ›
World Eagerly Awaits Which Chemically-Colored Smoke Will Emerge From The Vatican!
As reported in the New York Times, mystery chemicals will be burned in cartridges at the Vatican to let the world know via chimney-smoke whether a new pope has been chosen. Black smoke = no new Pope. White smoke =… Read More ›
Don’t Worry New Yorkers, You Can Still Drink A Pound Of Liquid At Your Favorite Establishments!
CNN reports that a New York state judge has blocked Mayor Bloomberg’s legislation preventing NYC restaurants from selling sugary drinks larger than 16 ounces from going into effect at midnight tonight. 3 Reactions We Might Expect To This News 1…. Read More ›
Jeff Zucker Off To Good Start At CNN, Which Stands For “Cat News Network,” Right?
Today’s CNN.com U.S. edition homepage features a section entitled “What The Internet Is For,” featuring three, and only three, thumbnails you can click on: Grumpy Cat, Happy Cat, and Fat Cat. We applaud CNN, as we here at Not The… Read More ›
Alleged Identity Thief Orders Drink Using Waitress’ Stolen I.D., Proving You No Longer Need To Suspend Disbelief When The Next Incarnation Of “17 Again” Comes Out!
Colorado’s 9NEWS reports that an Applebee’s waitress got a surprise when she asked a margarita-ordering customer to show her I.D. The customer was an alleged identity thief, and reportedly handed the waitress the waitress’ own I.D., apparently unaware that she… Read More ›
You’re Spending 23 Days A Year Looking At Your Phone, And We Hope It’s Not All Spent Figuring Out How To Unlock The Phone!
CNET reports that a survey of phone owners shows the owners surveyed spend 23 days a year looking at their phones, including sending texts and using apps. 3 Worse Ways To Spend 23 Days A Year 1. Looking at your… Read More ›
IKEA Not Recalling Horse Meat This Time!
As we recently wrote, horse DNA was found in “beef” in the Czech Republic intended for IKEA meatballs. The good news is no horse DNA was involved in the-latest-furniture-store-recall-of-food! The less-good news is QMI News Agency reports that IKEA has… Read More ›
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