The Wall Street Journal reports that JP Morgan will be charging large clients, such as hedge funds for deposits because new rules make holding these deposits unprofitable. You see, unlike It’s A Wonderful Life, the world does not have a Jimmy… Read More ›
Parody
Report: Mark Zuckerberg Building Waterside Development Next To Facebook HQ For 10,000 Employees
3 Reasons We Are Disappointed By This Mail Online News Story 1. Misread the headline thinking a “Waterslide Town” Was Being Built. 2. Making Facebook employees and their families have to live close to each other may result in generation… Read More ›
If You’re Going To Release A Movie About Hot Tub Time Machines, Maybe Oscar Weekend Is Not The Time To Do It
According to Box Office Mojo, Hot Tub Time Machine 2 bombed at the box office this Oscar weekend, taking in an estimated $5.2 million dollars in North America. 3 Frequently Asked Questions For This Story 1. “Does this mean audiences… Read More ›
Bride Marries Wedding Guest Instead of Original Groom-To-Be
The Toronto Sun reports that a woman in India married a wedding guest after her groom-to-be collapsed the wedding. The groom collapsed due to a seizure, and returned from the hospital to find his bride married to a wedding guest…. Read More ›
Is Peter Schiff Auditioning For Role Of Scrooge McDuck?
Yahoo Finance reports that Peter Schiff, a frequent business news talking head, argues that Wal-Mart’s voluntary decision to raise the minimum wages of its workers to $9 an hour for starting employees and $10 an hour for other employees may… Read More ›
Why Jerry Seinfeld May Sound Like Alvin and the Chipmunks
CNBC reports that certain cable networks that air reruns of Seinfeld have allegedly sped up the episodes by 7%, to make room for more commercials. So if you thought Jerry sounded like Alvin and the Chipmunks, it’s not your imagination… Read More ›
Flavored McNuggets.
The Huffington Post reports that McDonald’s is testing “Shakin’ Flavor McNuggets” and fries in Northern Nevada. Basically, you put the McNuggets in a bag of flavoured powder and shake it… and probably drive every flavor-shaking Nevadan teenager to the nearest… Read More ›
53 Year-Old Woman and 60 Year-Old Man Make Short List To Colonize Mars in 2024
CBC reports that out of 200,000 applicants for a one-way trip to Mars, 100 would-be astronauts remain on a short-list, including 6 Canadians. The trip is scheduled in 2024, and the purpose of the trip is to create a human… Read More ›
Will Apple Car Map Out David Hasselhoff’s Career Better Than KITT?
The Wall Street Journal reported Friday that Apple is secretly manufacturing a minivan-like electric car. 3 Features We’d Like To See On An Apple-Designed Electric Car 1. Feature that allows headlights to project movies on giant hologram simulated-screen in the… Read More ›
Hasbro Creates Nerf Gun For Adults That Shoots Foam Balls At 70 mph
Engadget reports that Hasbro has created a new Nerf gun for adults that shoots foam balls at 70 mph. 3 More Bad Ideas For Hasbro Products We Don’t Want To See Made For Adults 1. Twister for senior citizens that… Read More ›
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