Yahoo Finance reports that activity tracker FitBit has filed for a $100 million IPO, just weeks after the Apple Watch was released.

3 Slogans We Propose For FitBit

1. “FitBit: This was a great idea until every company started making devices that do the same stuff and more. Thanks capitalism! Oh speaking of capitalism, let’s do an IPO and cash out of this.”

2. “FitBit: Sure, Nike may have discontinued the FuelBand. But invest in us, because what could a giant corporation like Nike know that we don’t? Honest, we’re not just cashing out.”

3. “FitBit: If you think companies like Blackberry and Garmin are due for a comeback, check out our prospectus. Sure you can’t read the prospectus on a watch like maybe with Apple, but do you really want to spend a lot of time reading, when you can just hand us some cash?”

Categories: Mildly Bad News

Tags: Business, exercise, fitness, Humor, investing, Parody, satire, sports, technology