Yesterday, we wrote about Animal Planet, which is owned by Discovery Communications, green-lighting a scripted series about zombie-animals. Here are 3 pitches we have for Discovery Communications:
1. Zombie Island Medium – Based on Discovery’s TLC show “Long Island Medium,” this show would feature someone who could communicate with the dead.
This would be helpful, because the medium would be able to help convey what zombies are thinking so they could fill in their status updates when Facebook asks the zombies “What’s on your mind?”
“What’s on their minds?” you ask.
Probably the fact that the “L” in “TLC” seems to have strayed far from “learning.”
2. Zombie Atoms – This pitch for Discovery’s Science channel is a cross between hits the “Walking Dead” and “Cosmos.” Narrated by a Neil deGrasse Tyson look-alike, this show will explain the havoc that would be wreaked on Earth if elements like oxygen became infected by zombies. “Gold prices would plummet, if gold atoms became zombies” the host would explain, adding, “On behalf of science, I apologize.”
3. Zombie Oprah – Starring a zombie Oprah, on Discovery’s Oprah Winfrey Network, this show would feature Zombie Oprah giving away free stuff to screaming zombie audience members. Attention advertisers: Zombie Oprah may endorse a product she doesn’t appear to really like, reminiscent of the time she endorsed Microsoft’s Surface on Twitter, apparently unaware the Tweet indicated it was sent via an iPad.
Categories: Mildly Bad News