For the past two days, we’ve been writing about the controversial lawsuit started by a former employee of dating web site, in which the employee alleges wrist injuries due to typing about a thousand fake profiles over several weeks.
As a leading comedy advocate site, we’re here to help you figure out if that person you’re considering dating online set up a fake profile, so here are 3 telltale signs in the finale of this series:
1. Rate yourself honestly on a scale of one to ten. What? You gave yourself a ten? Nobody’s perfect, and if you’re so perfect, what are you doing on a dating web site? Anyway, since you are on a dating web site, and have shown you are dishonest, you can’t expect the profile you’re looking at to be honest, right. Verdict: fake!
2. Is the profile pic a magic eye puzzle? We know how those work. You think you’re looking at a beautiful naked lady. But if you shift angles, it’s Abraham Lincoln. “Hey, I can always look at the dream naked person or dream President from the angle I want,” you say. Wrong. Try that in a revolving restaurant, and you’ll realize the person in that profile pic is a fake and you got motion sickness on a date!
3. Does the profile include a photo or a write-up? We’re not saying it’s Typed-By-An-Employee fake! But it probably includes a few embellishments. It’s natural for people to try to sell themselves. So just bump everything they say to a higher level, and add a few years to their profile pic. For example, if they say “drink socially” or “smoke socially,” bump that up to the next available level, i.e. “drunk right now” or “smoke only when drinking socially, which includes by-myself-writing-this-profile-right-now-in-the-afternoon!”
As someone once said: “You can’t handle the truth!” But we just gave you the truth, and you handled it quite well. So enjoy your date tomorrow night.
And visit this site tomorrow, November 15, 2013, at 9:00 p.m. EST, before your date, to see if you’re wearing the right color, if you plan on posting photos of the entire date on Instagram!