Budweiser Unveils High-Tech Cup That Makes Facebook Friends Just By Clinking Other Cups In A Bar, In Case You’re Wondering Where Those Clydesdale Facebook Friends Came From.
Fox News reports that Budweiser has unveiled a beer glass that connects to Facebook. All you have to do is get a special cup with a chip in it, called the “Buddy Cup” and then whenever you clink cups with anyone else in the bar, they become your Facebook Friends!
And the entire friendship via Buddy Cup gets recorded on your Facebook Timeline, if we’re understanding the video correctly! You can watch the video explanation here.
Yes, so next time you get drunk in a bar, you can give out all of your personal information to that stranger you will regret talking to the next morning. And all of your friends, grade-school paper-route co-workers, and current co-workers can find out just how many new friends you made last night, when you should have been working on the month-end report!
3 Questions You May Have For Buddy Cup
1. “If you’re so into technology, why didn’t you partner up with Google glasses first to prevent Beer-Goggle-induced friendships?”
2. Does Buddy Cup also have a chip to cut you off? Especially when you start slurring things like, “Hey, Buddy Cup, you’re my only really friend, right. You’re an alright Guy, Buddy Cup. Don’t let anyone ever tell you different. Even a blog that thinks you’re a really bad marketing idea!”
3. “Why do I have 200 new Facebook Friends? What the hell happened last night?” you yell as you shake your fist at the air, “Buddddddddddddy Cup!”
Quartz reports that Facebook is going to release a smart phone this Thursday running a version of the Android operating system.
The report also reminds us that MySpace once introduced a phone, which didn’t lead to the greatness some expected from for that social network.
The important thing is that Facebook apparently thinks that “status updates” aren’t really as helpful as “status-of-what-you’re-doing-at-all-times” and contact lists of “everyone you know who is not on Facebook.”
3 More Business Ideas We Have For Facebook
1. Facebook restraining order. This application legally prevents stalkers from showing up at your home or other locations, after Facebook shows on a map exactly where you are, to people you may not have been aware were able to view such information when you replied to a simple message telling the person to “leave me alone!”
2. Facebook camera-ad-inserter. Did you just take a photo of a friend at McDonald’s using a Facebook phone? Why not have Facebook automatically add a caption saying: “Steve’s lovin’ it!”
3. Facebook voicemail. Unlike other voicemail which requires you to go through the hassle of creating a message, this news feed-inspired voicemail will tell everyone which edition of Angry Birds you are too busy playing to answer their calls.
Taiwanese Actor Credibility In Question After Social Network Post Slamming Apple. Post This At 1:30 P.M. Eastern Time On St. Patrick’s Day. Do Not Post The Part About Posting This Or This Sentence.
Fortune reports that CCTV, China’s state television, allegedly encouraged prominent social media celebrities to post expressions of outrage against Apple on the Chinese equivalent of Twitter.
A post in question came from a Taiwanese Samsung spokesperson and according to the article, stated:
“#315isLive# Wow, Apple has so many tricks in its after-sales services. As an Apple fan, I’m hurt. You think this would be acceptable to Steve Jobs? Or to those young people who sold their kidneys [to buy iPads]? It’s really true that big chains treat customers poorly. Post around 8:20.”
Ooops! It kinda looks like he cut and pasted a message telling him what to do and he accidentally posted the instructions, too!
The celebrity reportedly claimed his phone had been stolen and someone else wrote the post.
3 Questions That Arise From The Celebrity’s Explanation
1. Does a spokesperson for Samsung not know how to lock their phone so that phone thieves can’t post public messages that may make Samsung look bad if the phone is stolen? Wouldn’t that be like a spokesperson for McDonald’s not knowing how to prevent the Hamburglar from stealing Shamrock Shakes on today, the most important day in the St. Patrick’s Day green-colored beverage industry?
2. Why would a spokesperson for Samsung call themselves an Apple fan? That would be like Oprah plugging the Microsoft Surface on Twitter from her iPad! Or Alicia Keys tweeting from an iPhone days before it was announced that she is a Blackberry spokesperson. Oh, wait those things really happened, too.
3. What kind of customer service is really acceptable to people who sell their kidneys to buy a product? Unless that product is a better kidney, and the service is surgically transplanting it, we think the consumer is getting a bad deal!
Happy St. Patrick’s Day from Not The Worst News!
Computerworld reports that Google is seeking out “explorers” via social media to pay $1,500 plus tax to test Google eyeglasses.
3 Worse Things To Pay To Test Than Computerized Glasses
1. Computerized bank chip cards. For $1500 you can see if the card will let you withdraw $1500 in cash to pay the bill. Assuming you remember the PIN number “1234″ which is popular among people who pay to test things.
2. Google sweaters. These colorful sweaters feature a search engine box in the middle, near the belly, where women can approach you in bars and type: “Where can I find a more physically fit man to buy me a drink than this nerd in the Google sweater?”
3. Google sweatpants. Similar to Google sweaters, but more embarrassing for everyone involved.
Facebook May Pay You Ten Dollars If You Fill Out A Form… Or May Not… Making Deciding Whether To Fill Out The Form As Fun As Trying To Predict The Future Value Of Facebook Stock
Buzzfeed reports that Facebook has settled a class-action lawsuit alleging that Facebook illegally put American users’ images in sponsored stories without their consent.
Under the settlement, users may get $10 if they fill in a claim form, but if claims exceed $20 million dollars, then $20 million goes to charity. Facebook has 150 million users in the U.S., so Buzzfeed speculates the money will likely go to charity.
3 Places We Would Less Like To See Your $10 Go Than Charity
1. The lawyers who negotiated a settlement for using your likeness, and have agreed that your likeness is worth $10 at most, while they are asking for $7.5 million in attorneys’ fees, and up to $282,566.49 to cover their costs.
2. Handerpants – “Underpants For Your Hands.” It’s not that we don’t like the idea of Handerpants, it’s that they cost $11.95 plus shipping, so your ten dollars would not be enough to buy you an opportunity to wear underwear on your hands.
3. The estate of Alexander Hamilton. His likeness is already on the ten dollar bill – does his family really need more recognition? It’s not like he was ever President of the United States, or the inventor of Handerpants!
During last night’s election coverage, Donald Trump tweeted some angry stuff, some of which was reportedly subsequently deleted.
One tweet stated: “our nation is a once great nation divided.”
Three More Pointless Rhetorical Comments A Blowhard Could Tweet
1. “Our nation is divided between people who voted for one candidate, and people who voted for the opposing candidate… again! And totally unlike a dictatorship where everyone votes for one candidate.”
2. “Our nation is divided into 50 states?! I’m a real estate developer – why did nobody inform me about this ‘Louisiana Purchase’!”
Donald Trump Announces He Will Give $5 Million To Charity If President Drops Everything In Middle Of Campaign To Be Bossed Around Like A Celebrity Apprentice C-List Actor
Today, Donald Trump announced via social media that he will give $5 million to a charity of President Obama’s choice if the President releases his college applications, records, and passport details by 5 pm on October 31, 2012. And if the President doesn’t comply, then Trump will apparently not make the donation.
3 Other Things We Wonder If Donald Trump Will Demand By Halloween
1. That Trump-branded clothing be made in America! (This shirt that can be viewed on Macy’s web site indicates it’s “imported”.)
2. That everyone on Halloween dressed as the Korean comedian in the yellow suit from the Gangnam style video switch to a true American celebrity costume, like this Donald Trump mask or this wig, both available on Amazon.
3. To be given candy, door-to-door from every New Yorker, while trick-or-treating in his costume of a fair and balanced fact finder (a mask of any Fox News Reporter will do).
According to Digital Trends, while showing a shot of the crowd during an Olympic basketball event, NBC Sportscaster Bob Fitzgerald, mistakenly identified Jessie Eisenberg, who played Mark Zuckerberg in the Social Network as the real Mark Zuckerberg. The exact quote from Digital Trends:
“I know I’m gonna put that picture on Facebook,” Fitzgerald said. “We’ve got every executive of note, it seems, worldwide, attending these games.”
3 Worse Celebrities NBC Could Misidentify As Major Executives
1. They could confuse Olympic gold-medal-winning snowboarder Shaun White with comedian Carrot Top. They both have crazy red hair, and Carrot Top did star in the movie “Chairman of the Board.” Which is an executive position of note. And also ironically what People Magazine calls Shaun White. Read the rest of this entry →
According to CBC, City of Toronto Mayor Rob Ford admitted he was “probably” reading while driving on a city expressway, after a photo of him behind the wheel, with a document in his hand appeared on Twitter. Folks, sometimes the comedy just writes itself. Here’s an excerpt from CBC:
Reporter: “Sir, there’s a picture that went out on Twitter this morning of you reading while still driving on the Gardiner [Expressway].”
Ford: “Yeah, probably. I’m busy.”
Reporter: “So you read while driving?”
Ford: “Yeah, probably, yeah. I’m try[ing] to catch up on my work and you know I keep my eyes on the road, but I’m a busy man.”
Reporter: “You don’t see a problem doing that on the Gardiner?”
Ford: “Well, I’m busy. I got to be — I don’t know what that has to do with a trade mission, but anyways. Ridiculous questions sometimes, seriously.”
3 Worse Things Toronto Mayor Rob Ford Could Be Reading While Driving Than A Document Read the rest of this entry →
A Portland, Oregon resident saw his stolen bicycle offered for sale in a Craig’s List ad offering to sell the bike in Seattle, Washington. And he chose to fight internet technology with more technology, including Reddit and an apparent smart phone camera to attempt to approach the alleged thief and conduct a citizen’s arrest.
You can view the video on Gawker. Most notably, when confronting the alleged thief, at around minute 4:44, the alleged thief declares: “It’s not illegal to buy stolen stuff… I looked it up.”
We wonder if he “looked it up” before claiming to buy it on Craig’s List, knowing it was stolen.
Here’s a tip: look up if knowingly buying stolen merchandise is legal. Then look up if announcing you knew the merchandise was stolen while you are being recorded is a good idea.
3 Worse Things Someone Who Stole Something Could Say They “Looked Up” Read the rest of this entry →