Category Archives: iPhone
CNN Opinion Author Says Don’t Name Your Kid “Siri,” Apparently Unaware It Is A Real Scandinavian Name
In a “Special To CNN,” Dean Obeidallah wrote a piece entitled “Don’t Name Your Kid Siri.”
The article provided a link to Baby Center.com’s “Hottest Baby Name Trends of 2012.” According to that article:
“And parents like the sound of Siri, Apple’s voice-enabled personal assistant: The name climbed 5 percent on the list of girls’ names.”
But it seems authors from these web sites may not read the information in the hyperlinks in their own articles.
For example, taking five seconds to click on the Baby Center.com link to “Siri” would reveal the name is of Scandinavian origin, means “Victorious Beauty” and peaked in popularity in 2009, over a year and a half before the announcement of the iPhone 4S, which was the first phone to have the Siri application.
3 Worse Things To Name Your Kid Than “Siri”
1. “Special To CNN.” Do you really want your kid to be viewed as special to CNN? Many of CNN’s most special stories are about dishonest politicians, criminals and socialites from the Hilton and Kardashian families.
2. “Siri, What Is The Origin Of The Name Siri?” This has way too many words and punctuation marks to fit on a birth certificate! Although we wish the special-to-CNN author asked Siri this question before writing an article telling people what to name their children in a headline.
3. Whatever Someone On The Internet Said To Name Your Kids In A Headline. Have some originality, future parents! Today’s news themes will seem dated in 2029, when your son “Fiscal Cliff” tries to get a date to the prom!
According to the Street.com’s analysis of smart phone information provided by Apple last week, Google Android users don’t seem to know how to use their phones, with about 70% of them apparently not knowing how to use WiFi. We at NotTheWorstNews believe that if a device has the word “smart” in its name, it should not make you feel stupid. If this has ever happened to you, perhaps you would feel smarter if you dropped the Stephen Hawking “A Brief History of Time” Audiobook ring tone, and switched to Tik Tok by Ke$ha. But rest assured, there are other products out there with “smart” in their names that could make you feel less smart than your smart phone may make you feel:
The power has been out at the NotTheWorstNews headquarters a.k.a. the Worse Situation Room, for hours. So this is our first blog using the iPhone app, which significantly delays our ability to bring you the latest status of the World’s Ugliest Dog and other pressing matters.
3 Worse Things Than An Office Building Blackout
1. Blacking out during an office building blackout because everybody at work decided to throw an impromptu party since there was nothing else to do while the computer and phone lines were down. And unlike the Office Christmas party where you drunkenly photocopied your rear end and sent PDF copies to everyone on the company mailing list, with no electricity you have to use your iPhone camera and contact book of everyone you’ve ever met, to accomplish the same goal in a fraction of the time! Which means you can send thousands of drunk photos of your various body parts during the blackout party. In the afternoon. So you look like a lush to everyone except your creepy sculptor neighbor who now has enough photos to create a perfect scale model of your body. Which he later mass produces and sells to Dress Barn. We’ve never been to Dress Barn, but somehow the name doesn’t sound flattering. Were the names “Dress Cattle Feedlot”; “Dress Herd”; and “Dress Grease Trap” unavailable?
2. That company report you were writing recommending the future business continuity plan involving backing up all work files in the cloud wasn’t saved when the power went off and permanently fried your hard drive, and the companies servers. How ironic!
3. A blackout at home, where unlike at work, nobody’s paying you to reset the oven and 99 other needless attention-seeking clocks that you wouldn’t even know exist if it wasn’t for the occasional one-nano-second power failure. To make matters worse, due to the lack of attention you’ve been paying to these appliances, the bread maker you got for Christmas is gonna totally break up with you! Which is really bad considering the bread maker stuck with you despite your antics at the company Christmas party. “Enjoy your untoasted toast made of Doritos!” the bread maker will say, as it walks out the door with her new boyfriend, the toaster.