Category Archives: Geography
Old House In China Located In Middle Of New Road
CNN reports that in China, an old house sits on the middle of a new road, where an elderly couple has refused to move out. Apparently, the local laws forbid eviction of the family, so if you’re driving through China, add houses-in-the-middle-of-the-road to your obstacles-to-avoid list.
3 Worse Places Your House Could Be Located Than On A Road In China
1. On a road in Manhattan. The “no honking” signs probably won’t discourage local cab drivers.
2. In an NHL-only stadium. Teenage bullies could push your house around the ice, and nobody would be there to stop them.
3. Inside of a series of houses, each larger than the last, in Russia. Living in a Matryoshka dollhouse may sound fun, until a kid starts playing with your house, and removes the top half, and forgets to put it back on before the ice cold Russian winter.
Iceland Holds A Contest To Pick A New Name For The Country… Hopefully The Ice-Ballots Don’t Melt Before They Choose A Winner.
The recently bankrupt country of Iceland is holding a contest where participants can propose a new, and presumably less “icy” name for the country, according to the Weather Channel.
Apparently, the name “Iceland” may not have been helping the tourist industry.
3 Proposed New Names For Iceland To Potentially Help Tourism
1 Greenland Lite
2. That Truck Stop With A Big Boy Restaurant between Sweden and Newfoundland.
3. Climate Change Land (formerly known as “Iceland,” formerly known as “I Wish My Family Never Immigrated To This Glacier”)
Dear Toad Suck, Arkansas: A Poll Says Your Town’s Name Sucks, But It Could Be Worse
According to a Yahoo News, a recent poll conducted in seven countries named Toad Suck, Arkansas, as the town with the “most unfortunate” name in the United States, beating out heavy-hitters like Boring, Oregon.
3 Worse Things Than Living In A Town With The Most Unfortunate Name In The United States
1. Living in a town with a more unfortunate name than “Toad Suck” and not even winning a prize for “most unfortunate name!” We’re looking your way, real town named Dildo, Newfoundland, Canada. Read the rest of this entry
Pennsylvania Alleged Food Thief Less Ambitious Than Transylvania Alleged Food Thieves!
Yesterday we wrote about a massive alleged theft of garlic by men in Transylvania. Time to move on to another wacky alleged food theft in another vania, namely, Pennsylvania! The Huffington Post reports that a potato chip trail lead police to arrest a man who allegedly stole 9 bags of potato chips from a Subway restaurant in Washington, Pennsylvania.
Please tell us it wasn’t the Baked Lay’s! It would be terrible to be convicted of a crime while trying to be health conscious! Still it could be worse:
3 Worse Things You Could Steal, Leaving A Trail Behind You For The Police To Find Read the rest of this entry
National Geographic Poll: Obama Better Suited For U.F.O. Invasion Than Romney
According to a National Geographic study reported in the LA Times, 65% of Americans believe that U.S. President Barack Obama would be better able to handle an alien attack than Mitt Romney.
In fairness to Mitt Romney, this is National Geographic, the magazine that conducts surveys that also find things like a third of young American adults think the population of America is between one billion and two billion. So you could see how some of these people who take National Geographic surveys may not be experts in predicting outcomes of alien invasions when they think that there are 1.7 billion extra Randy Quaids ready to deliver a computer virus to any aliens who mess with America this Independence Day.
The good news is National Geographic could have picked even less relevant questions, so here are:
3 Less Relevant Multiple Choice Questions National Geographic Could Ask In Surveys Read the rest of this entry
500,000 Bees Board Flight From Sweden To Greenland, And It’s Not A Samuel L. Jackson Movie
About 500,000 bees boarded a flight from Sweden to Greenland on Wednesday, according to Swedish news source, The Local. Apparently, the bees didn’t even have a direct flight, as they had a stopover in Denmark, the world’s former happiest country.
“What’s the bad news?” you may ask, “I fly with hundreds of thousands of bees all the time and always have to stop over in Cincinnati!”
Well, apparently, transporting that many bees requires “a lot of paperwork” and vetting by a bee inspector and a veterinarian surgeon. Okay, we get the paperwork part. Taking 500,000 bee passport photos is not exactly a picnic for any IKEA Photo Center employee. For them, a picnic would be more like getting stung by just five bees while having an actual picnic. But what kind of surgery performed by a veterinarian do these bees require? We’re certain that if taking passport photos of bees agitates a few bees, than performing surgery on half-a-million of their closest friends may also lead to a few stings, and delay a flight to Greenland by at least a few months. Still for anyone who may have been stung physically or metaphorically by this trans-atlantic bee-flight, we remind you, it could be worse. Here are:
3 Worse In-Flight Companions Than 500,000 Bees
1. Fifty Samuel L. Jacksons Impersonators. All of them screaming his famous Snakes On A Plane line of being tired of all these muthaf****n snakes on the muthaf****n plane. Don’t worry, there are no snakes on the plane, but all this yelling leads to one crying baby in every row. Which leads to 50 Justin Bieber Impersonators singing the song Baby to help settle them down, which never works! Hey, it’s not your fault you happened to be flying to Orlando during the 12 Annual Sunburst Convention of Celebrity Impersonators.
Thanks for the Very Inspiring Blogger and One Lovely Blog Nominations!
NotTheWorstNews thanks faithful reader Grateful Fairy for nominating this site for the Very Inspiring Blogger and One Lovely Blog awards, so check out her blog! Despite this seemingly good news, the bad news is that if we won either of these awards, we’d have nothing to wear to the award ceremonies, as a brain surgeon hid all of our formal wear in a Florida beach, and no metal-detectors are going to find any of it in the sand (we stopped wearing metal-containing apparel because this guy with a magnet permanently embedded in his arm kept getting stuck to us.) That said, it could be worse, here are:
3 Things Worse Than Getting Nominated For the Very Inspiring Blog Award and One Lovely Blog Award
1. Getting nominated for the “Worst News Of 2012″ Award. That would, like, totally make securing the name of this blog at GoDaddy for the next 99 years a waste of money!
2. Getting nominated for the “Worst News Of 1812″ Award. Our top news story on May 31, 1812, would have been “War of 1812 Still Continues And Why Do They Still Keep Calling Quebec ‘Lower Canada’ and Ontario ‘Upper Canada’ When Anyone Looking At A Map Can See Upper Canada is On The Bottom! And No Wonder This War Keeps Dragging On When Nobody Knows Which Way Is ‘Up’ On A Map!”
3. Getting nominated for the “1982 Very Inspiring Frogger” Award. For those of you unfamiliar with Frogger, it was a video game, where you controlled a frog that ran across high traffic streets, to jump on lily pads, leading to hungry snakes. Since there was no way to finish this game, spoiler alert, it never ended well for the frog, so nobody should have been inspired to copy that frog. But there will always be people, likely MTV viewers, who do whatever they see on TV or in video games. And that’s why every TV commercial where somebody does something with a car, like driving through a jungle, around a racetrack, or just down a street displays a fine print disclaimer: “Professional Driver: Do Not Attempt.” In other words, “Please buy this vehicle, but do not attempt driving it.” On that note, we sense a “Most Ridiculous Disclaimer of 2012 Commercials” award.
